Sunday, June 01, 2008

Putting Fear of Failure in Perspective



Along with the issues of self-doubt and anxiety, fear of failure can be a huge obstacle for an aspiring author to overcome. Last year I read Judi Moreo's book, You Are More Than Enough Every Woman's Guide to Purpose, Passion & Power and I came across a section where Judi talks about fear of failure. This is what she had to say:

"What's wrong with failure anyway? Why do we let it stop us from doing, achieving, and having what we want? Failure just means you've discovered one more way that doesn't work. Thomas Edison worked for more than a year and a half to create a better, long-lasting light bulb that could be used in a mainstream application. During that time he found 9,999 ways that didn't work. If he hadn't persisted, you might be reading this book by candlelight! If you try and still don't get the result you want, it simply means you were willing to risk, it might take longer than you expected, your goal was unreasonable, you have to do something differently next time, or you have an opportunity to start something new which is more suited to you.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could just overcome this fear? We know there's always a chance we will fail, so why worry about it? Everyone else has the same chance of failure as we do. We are not the exception to the rule, but we will never succeed unless we try."

Looking at fear of failure in this way makes writers heroic every time they send out a submission; even if it gets rejected.

I found a few quotes about mistakes which further help to put fear of failure in perspective.

“The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.” - Edward J. Phelps

"It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers - they help us to learn." - John Bradshaw

"The greatest mistake a man can ever make is to be afraid of making one." - Elbert Hubbard

"So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because that's where you will find success. On the far side of failure." - Thomas J. Watson, Sr.

Terry Bragg, the author of 31 Days to High Self-esteem put together an eight-step plan to overcome failure. I would like to share it with you here:

Step One: Take action

"Action gives you the power to change the circumstances or the situation," says Bragg. What could you achieve if you weren't afraid to fail? Nike has an ad campaign that says, "Just do it." Write this down on a sticky pad and attach it to you computer screen.

Anytime you feel paralyzed by fear of failure, read that quote and heed it's advice.

Step Two: Persist.

How many times have you heard published authors give advice that includes, don't give up? Why do you think that is? Because successful people don't give up! They try something, and if it doesn't work out, they try something else. They keep trying until they get the results they want.

Step Three: Don't take failure personally.

Here's a big one. When you don't get the results you want, it doesn't mean you're a failure. It simply means you tried and it didn't work out. See Step Two for what you need to do next.

Step Four: Do things differently.

This is a no-brainer, but there are so many people out there who keep approaching things the same way and not getting the results they're looking for. Well, stop it! Don't be afraid to try something new. It might make a world of difference.

Step Five: Don't be so hard on yourself.

Raise your hand if you're too hard on yourself. Yes, mine is raised to. I am my own worse critic. I give into negative self-talk. As Bragg says about failure, "If nothing else, you know what doesn't work."

Step Six: Treat the experience as an opportunity to learn.

I'm a strong non-fiction writer, but fiction offers me challenges like there's no tomorrow. The most difficult thing I struggle with is "show don't tell". Luckily, I have a good group of people who critique my work and offer suggestions.

In the writing world they say that practice makes perfect. So I am practicing a lot. And I'm learning a lot. Each time I write a short story, I am improving my craft. Each article I read about "show don't tell" brings me that much closer to mastering this aspect of fiction writing on my own.

Step Seven: Look for possible opportunities that result from the experience.

If you submit a short story to a market and receive a rejection letter, what opportunities or benefits does that provide?

Well, it could provide you with an opportunity to review your story with a fresh set of eyes and revise it to make the story stronger. Perhaps this also gives you the chance to perform additional market research and find a home that is even a better fit than the one you had originally chosen.

Always look for the benefit.

Step Eight: Fail forward fast. According to Bragg, this is a term used by management guru, Tom Peters. It means that the way to learn is to make mistakes. So if we want to learn faster, we must make mistakes faster too. The important thing to remember is to not repeat those mistakes.

With eight tiny steps you can move forward with your writing career, without the fear of failure.

I want to leave you with a powerful quote from Susan Jeffers, which came from her book, Feel the Fear...And Do It Anyway:

"I said to myself: 'You mean all those people out there that I’ve been envying because they’re not afraid to move ahead with their lives have really been afraid? Why didn’t somebody tell me!?' I guess I never asked."

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Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Judi Moreo's Achieve Your Dreams Virtual Book Tour '08--My Goals


“Every step I take brings me closer to the realization of my dreams.”

It's the first day of the New Year, and that is always a good time to set a few goals. As a writer, I set yearly goals, which I break down into monthly goals, and then break them down further into goals to achieve each week. I find I am most productive if I have a new list in front of me every week. I also post this weekly to-do list at the online writers group I belong to. The support from my fellow writers motivates me to do more. That might sound strange, but being a stay-at-home mom who has little contact to the outside world, I need this type of interaction to keep me sane.

The first line of this post is a quotation that I have been asked to repeat until I understand it's powerful message. Having read Judi Moreo's book "You Are More Than Enough: Every Woman's Guide to Purpose, Passion and Power" I already know the power of these words. I loved this book and I'm sure I will quickly fall in love with the "Achievement Journal" that Judi has designed to go along with it. I actually, just recommended "You Are More Than Enough" to a friend today.

So, where was I? Oh yeah, goals. See how easily I can get off track. As a participant in Judi's Achieve Your Dreams Virtual Book Tour '08 I am setting forth these goals to help me fulfill my dreams.

* I will make more time for my own writing

I love promoting the work of others and writing book reviews, but I miss my own writing. I commit to working on something of my own at least once a month.

* I will post at this blog more often.

I was very excited when I started this blog. After a while, it began to focus more on other people than on me, so I started a new blog for author interviews and book reviews, and now it's just about little ole me again; my interests and what it is like to be a wife, mother, and aspiring author.

My readers must think I don't do anything, because I rarely post here. But I will post here more frequently, because I believe in myself and my dreams and I want to share them with you.

* I will appreciate my family more.

It is unrealistic to think I will ever be Donna Reed or June Cleaver, but I tend to take my family for granted. I whine about what I have to accomplish, but rarely consider how hard it is for my husband to get up and go to work five days a week and carry most of the burden of supporting our family, so that I can stay at home with the girls.

I also forget sometimes that my girls won't be this young forever. I constantly tell them to wait a minute or lose my temper with them because I am too tired from putting in long hours at the PC.

If I want to make my dream of being a published author a reality, I need to make more quality time for my family and appreciate them more.

* I will not over commit.

This is the one goal I am most concerned about achieving. I volunteer for every new project that is mentioned at church, on town committees, or at my children's schools. While volunteering is an excellent way to show my children how to give back to the community, if it leaves me exhausted or working so late that I am tired and cranky, then what am I really teaching them.

In the spirit of my last goal, I will stop at four. No need to set goals I won't achieve. That's just depressing.

May 2008 be the year that all of us achieve our dreams!

Cheryl


Click on the title of this blog entry to be directed to Amazon.com where you can purchase a copy of Judi Moreo's "Achievement Journal"

Check out my review of "You Are More Than Enough: Every Woman's Guide to Purpose, Passion & Power" at http://thebookconnectionccm.blogspot.com/2007/09/you-are-more-than-enough-every-womans.html and if you would like to read my interview with one of the most amazing women I have ever come in contact with, go to http://thebookconnectionccm.blogspot.com/2007/08/meet-motivational-speaker-and-author.html

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Friday, December 28, 2007

Judi Moreo and the Achieve Your Dreams Virtual Book Tour '08


With 2007 behind us and 2008 on the horizon, it’s time to reflect on how we want the rest of our journey here on earth to go. Do we settle for letting life happen or do we take steps toward achieving our dreams? Do we think about it or do we DO it?

If you have watched the movie, “The Secret”, then you understand the power of affirmative thinking = affirmative action. Are you taking those steps in the right direction to enjoy life at its fullest whether it’s through financial success, relationship bliss or perfect health?

On January 1, 2008, Judi Moreo, author of the You Are More Than Enough Achievement Journal (Stephens Press, Dec. '07), will embark on a virtual book tour throughout the blogosphere, but it will involve YOU. She wants YOU to be the star in a campaign to let the world know how you are taking those steps in realizing your dreams.

If you would like to become involved in her ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS VIRTUAL BOOK TOUR ‘08, here is how it works:

1. Repeat this passage from her book: “Every step I take brings me closer to the realization of my dreams” until you understand its powerful message.

2. Think about what steps you are taking to achieve your dreams and write about it. Your entry can be as long or as short as you’d like.

3. Post your message on your blog and give us the link so that we can post it on Judi's tour page at http://www.virtualbooktoursforauthors.blogspot.com/ (her tour page goes live tomorrow). Email us with your link at thewriterslife(at)yahoo.com.

4. When we receive your link, we will put it on our daily rounds of promotions, thus bringing you instant traffic, so get those links to us soon!

5. We only ask that you include the passage above before your blog post so that people will understand what you are doing.

6. We also ask that you include a jpeg copy of Judi’s book, “You Are More Than Enough Achievement Journal”, in your blog post. You can find her book cover at http://tinyurl.com/3cqa46 and link it to http://tinyurl.com/ywf67x

7. All participants will be listed at Judi’s tour page at http://www.virtualbooktoursforauthors.blogspot.com/ when they come in, stating the date on which their blog post will appear and will remain there indefinitely.

That’s all there is to it! Hurry before time runs out. Become involved in a nationwide campaign to bring in 2008 with a bang and help others realize that dreams are not something that happens; dreams are something that YOU make happen. Let's make 2008 the year when you realize your dreams and make them happen. Share your stories and become involved in Judi Moreo's "Achieving Your Dreams Virtual Book Tour '08" where YOU are the star!

Judi's virtual book tour will be highly publicized including press releases and other promotions. Let us know what steps you are taking to achieve success and be read by thousands of Internet users!

Thank you,

Cheryl C. Malandrinos, Tour Coordinator
Pump Up Your Book Promotion
http://www.pumpupyourbookpromotion.com/

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