Putting Fear of Failure in Perspective

Along with the issues of self-doubt and anxiety, fear of failure can be a huge obstacle for an aspiring author to overcome. Last year I read Judi Moreo's book, You Are More Than Enough Every Woman's Guide to Purpose, Passion & Power and I came across a section where Judi talks about fear of failure. This is what she had to say:

"What's wrong with failure anyway? Why do we let it stop us from doing, achieving, and having what we want? Failure just means you've discovered one more way that doesn't work. Thomas Edison worked for more than a year and a half to create a better, long-lasting light bulb that could be used in a mainstream application. During that time he found 9,999 ways that didn't work. If he hadn't persisted, you might be reading this book by candlelight! If you try and still don't get the result you want, it simply means you were willing to risk, it might take longer than you expected, your goal was unreasonable, you have to do something differently next time, or you have an opportunity to start something new which is more suited to you.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could just overcome this fear? We know there's always a chance we will fail, so why worry about it? Everyone else has the same chance of failure as we do. We are not the exception to the rule, but we will never succeed unless we try."

Looking at fear of failure in this way makes writers heroic every time they send out a submission; even if it gets rejected.

I found a few quotes about mistakes which further help to put fear of failure in perspective.

“The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.” - Edward J. Phelps

"It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers - they help us to learn." - John Bradshaw

"The greatest mistake a man can ever make is to be afraid of making one." - Elbert Hubbard

"So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because that's where you will find success. On the far side of failure." - Thomas J. Watson, Sr.

Terry Bragg, the author of 31 Days to High Self-esteem put together an eight-step plan to overcome failure. I would like to share it with you here:

Step One: Take action

"Action gives you the power to change the circumstances or the situation," says Bragg. What could you achieve if you weren't afraid to fail? Nike has an ad campaign that says, "Just do it." Write this down on a sticky pad and attach it to you computer screen.

Anytime you feel paralyzed by fear of failure, read that quote and heed it's advice.

Step Two: Persist.

How many times have you heard published authors give advice that includes, don't give up? Why do you think that is? Because successful people don't give up! They try something, and if it doesn't work out, they try something else. They keep trying until they get the results they want.

Step Three: Don't take failure personally.

Here's a big one. When you don't get the results you want, it doesn't mean you're a failure. It simply means you tried and it didn't work out. See Step Two for what you need to do next.

Step Four: Do things differently.

This is a no-brainer, but there are so many people out there who keep approaching things the same way and not getting the results they're looking for. Well, stop it! Don't be afraid to try something new. It might make a world of difference.

Step Five: Don't be so hard on yourself.

Raise your hand if you're too hard on yourself. Yes, mine is raised to. I am my own worse critic. I give into negative self-talk. As Bragg says about failure, "If nothing else, you know what doesn't work."

Step Six: Treat the experience as an opportunity to learn.

I'm a strong non-fiction writer, but fiction offers me challenges like there's no tomorrow. The most difficult thing I struggle with is "show don't tell". Luckily, I have a good group of people who critique my work and offer suggestions.

In the writing world they say that practice makes perfect. So I am practicing a lot. And I'm learning a lot. Each time I write a short story, I am improving my craft. Each article I read about "show don't tell" brings me that much closer to mastering this aspect of fiction writing on my own.

Step Seven: Look for possible opportunities that result from the experience.

If you submit a short story to a market and receive a rejection letter, what opportunities or benefits does that provide?

Well, it could provide you with an opportunity to review your story with a fresh set of eyes and revise it to make the story stronger. Perhaps this also gives you the chance to perform additional market research and find a home that is even a better fit than the one you had originally chosen.

Always look for the benefit.

Step Eight: Fail forward fast. According to Bragg, this is a term used by management guru, Tom Peters. It means that the way to learn is to make mistakes. So if we want to learn faster, we must make mistakes faster too. The important thing to remember is to not repeat those mistakes.

With eight tiny steps you can move forward with your writing career, without the fear of failure.

I want to leave you with a powerful quote from Susan Jeffers, which came from her book, Feel the Fear...And Do It Anyway:

"I said to myself: 'You mean all those people out there that I’ve been envying because they’re not afraid to move ahead with their lives have really been afraid? Why didn’t somebody tell me!?' I guess I never asked."

So, how am I doing?

At the begining of January, I set some goals as part of the Achieve Your Dreams Virtual Book Tour. Since I'll be away at the end of June, I figured I would do my quarterly round up early. Besides, it will give me a chance to share some good news.

Goal #1: I will make more time for my own writing.

Believe it or not, I am starting to make progress. I've missed writing and I am slowly plugging away at a few children's stories while waiting for vacation so that I can concentrate on some other things.

Goal #2: I will post at this blog more often.

I've done better since the last time I posted, but I still have big plans for this blog that I haven't been able to implement yet. Stay tuned!

Goal #3: I will appreciate my family more.

My family suffered a lot these past couple of months as I suddenly became overcomitted and couldn't find my way out of it. Now that school is almost over for the girls, things should lighten up...at least we hope so.

Goal #4: I will not over commit.

NOT! I'm still working on learning to say, "no", but it will come. I'm not volunteering for every project at the girls' schools, which helps, but I really want to find myself using that magic word to make more time for my writing and my family.


I continue to stay focused on my goals and know I can be successful. These little round ups help me to stay on track.

What makes you an aspiring author?

I often wonder what makes writers aspiring authors instead of published authors? For myself, I know a lot of it is lack of time. Yet, I also know, I waste time here and there that I could more wisely use to concentrate on some of my works in progress.

So, why don't I do it? Hmmm...that is a good question.

I promised that I would be bringing you some new stuff soon. And here I am delivering on that promise. I would like you to comment on why you feel you haven't become a published author yet? I'll start you off:

1) Time
2) Lack of support from family and friends
3) Haven't found the right market
4) The shoulder vultures named self-doubt and anxiety keep me from submitting my work
5) The editors I've submitted to don't recognize good talent when they see it

Okay, that last one is supposed to be funny. But seriously, I want to know what you think is holding you back. Then we can talk about some of these reasons you haven't been published yet and possible solutions in future blog entries.

So, let me hear ya!

What the Aspiring Author Can Learn from the Business World

Before I left the corporate world to raise my growing family and concentrate on my writing career, I spent nearly twenty years in business. While we writers hate to admit it, writing isn't only about creating; it's also a business. We must perform market research to find the best place to submit our work. We have to pitch our ideas to overburdened, stressed out editors. We must network with other writers and people within the industry. And, we have to know how to promote ourselves to make sure we stand out amongst the thousands of other aspiring authors doing the same thing.

I am fortunate to work with an awesome group of people at Pump Up Your Book Promotion, and if everything our CEO, Dorothy is telling me is true, I have a knack for the biz. Dorothy asked me one day how I quickly came up with ideas for a guest article that I wanted from one of our clients who is promoting a business book. I sarcastically replied, "You do remember that I started working when I was 16 and I'm almost 40, right?"

The ideas I gave her seemed like common sense...but maybe they aren't to a lot of people. That got me to thinking, what can the aspiring author learn from the world of business?

Here are five things that I thought of right away:

Number 5: You never get a second chance to make a great first impression.

Well, this one applies to more than just writing, but it applies to the aspiring author in so many ways. Think about the books that you've read. What are some of the adjectives that come to mind: outstanding, fabulous, mediocre, good, atrocious, and god awful. I'm sure there are others, but I want you to think about those books you liked and those you didn't really care for.

What did you like about the book? Were the characters well-developed? Do the hook draw you in right away? Did you stay up late at night reading it until the last page was turned?

Why didn't you care for that book? Were the characters portrayed in an unrealistic light? Were the good guys just too good to be true? Did the villian have no redeeming qualities at all--nothing to make him seem human? Did it take you until page 5 to get hooked into the storyline? Did you pray for the darn thing to end?

You only get once chance to win over a reader. Don't waste it. Make that first impression the best it can be.

But it starts much earlier in the process than with the reader. How about the publisher? Did you polish your manuscript until there wasn't a thing you felt you could improve upon? Did your critique group and editor give it the green light?

Did you pitch it to the right publishing house? You didn't send your romance novel off to a nonfiction publisher in the hopes you can convince him to start a new line, did you? And that query letter--was it your best stuff? Did you keep it brief, but still provide what he asked for? Did you check the query over and over again for typos? Did you follow all their guidelines?

Get it right the first time.

Number 4: Listen more than you talk.

This has always been a tough one for me, because I love to talk and I like to provide my opinions. Active listening skills are crucial for an aspiring author. Those skills will allow you to listen to a good critique of your work without defending your position. Active listening will allow you to silently decipher which feedback is valid and will give you the time to fully understand what the person providing constructive feedback is saying. Those skills also make the critiquer feel that you truly value his opinion.

Number 3: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Have you ever pitched a good idea and see it not be implemented? I sure have. Did I let that stop me? Hell no! I used appropriate opportunties to pitch my idea again and again. I finally found the right person who thought it was just as good as I did. It was certainly a big thrill to get the recognition I deserved.

As long as you know that the manuscript you've put together is the best it can possibly be, then don't let rejection stop you. Do more market research and query more publishers and/or agents. There is bound to be someone who is as excited about your manuscript as you are.

Quitters never prosper.

Number 2: Build strong, healthy relationships within the industry.

At my last job, I had a real hard time...and it was my own fault. I had just left my position as Office Manager at a local manufacturing firm. I had subordinates and was used to being in charge. I came into an entry level position expecting to control things, just the way I used to. I alienated my co-workers who felt threatened by my ambition. And worse, I blamed them for my troubles.

It would take 18 months before things began to improve. It took me that long to realize I was sabotaging my success. Once I started acting like more of a team player and recognized the talents of those around me, I was able to network easily and be appreciated by my co-workers, my superiors, and others in the department.

The same thing goes for writers. We need to build strong, healthy relationships with other writers, editors, and publishers. Without networking, our struggle is an uphill one on both sides.

Many of the authors who tour with Pump Up Your Book Promotion ask what else they can do to promote their book. I stress the importance of networking. The more people who are impressed with you, the more likely you are to catch someone's eye. This writer always knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone...

See what I mean?

And the most important thing that an aspiring author can learn from the business world is...

Number 1: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

I can't say it any better than this former First Lady, so I won't even try. I've had bosses who demeaned me because of my sex and my age. I've had superiors who haven't liked me because of what I stood for. I've had co-workers who disliked me for reasons I never even knew. But in the end, if I knew what I was doing was my best work, I was okay.

The same logic can be applied to aspiring authors. I've read some of the rejection letters my fellow writers have gotten and there are times I want to shoot back an email to the editor asking him what crawled up his butt. I've also read some heavy-handed, overly harsh critiques from writing groups.

Writing isn't for the faint of heart. I think we all know this going in. But, don't our own feelings of self-doubt and anxiety fill up enough of our time without us being made to feel like someone else thinks we stink?

There is only one way to deal with tough rejections and critiques. Walk away from them for a few days. Then approach them with a fresh set of eyes and a prepared heart. Can you find something useful to take out of them? Probably. Maybe your characters were as flat as a cardboard cut out. Perhaps the point of view is as shallow as the trickle of water running through an almost dry stream.

That doesn't mean you can take that feedback and improve your manuscript before you send it out again.

I know I've concentrated on aspiring authors but any writer can put these five points to good use. The business world is ripe with ideas that writers and aspiring authors can use to make the business side of a writing career almost as enjoyable as the creative side.

Good luck and keep writing!