Monday, October 23, 2006

A Mother's Reflection

There are days when the girls seem to drive me batty, and I wish they would grow up and not need me so much. On those days, I long for the time before they came along, when I could compose my thoughts in a quiet corner of the house, could keep the living room clean, and dabble in a few of my hobbies. After a good night's rest, though, the desire to go back to the way it was five years ago vanishes and a deep love fills my heart as I watch the girls play.

A few weeks ago, our five-year-old had a dentist appointment. I brought her into school afterwards, and as she strutted down the hallway towards her locker, this child who seemed so needy the day before, was independent and sure of herself. She did not look back to see if I was still there. Instead, she removed her coat, got out what she needed for class, and slammed her locker shut with a firm hand. She did not wave goodbye to me, but she humored my motherly side with a quick glance before she stepped into her classroom.

On the stroll back to my car, I was overcome with how foolish I am. How can I not appreciate the wonder of childhood? Am I so far removed from being a child or so consumed by the responsibilites of life that I can't remember how curious I used to be? Have I forgotten how important my parents were to me and how much I wanted to please them?

I hope the lesson I learned as I watched my daughter walk away, is one I keep with me as she grows. I want to remember how it felt to realize she wouldn't always need me in the same way she does now. At some point - probably sooner, rather than later - she will distance herself from me. She will seek the advice of peers before asking my opinion, and my importance - at least for a while - will be diminished. It is something all mothers struggle with; a struggle I have gone through once already.

God never promised being a mother would be easy. He only said the rewards would be great.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cheryl - As the mother of a 7 year old girl I can definitely say been there thought that. I still get annoyed when she's being obnoxious but I try to steal moments when it's just her and I and we can do grown-up things like have lunch and chat or read chapter books. Mary

2:34 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Thanks Mary. I would hate to feel evil all by myself. LOL!


2:58 PM  

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