Time to unwind

I think I have finally unwound from all the excitement of participating in the Muse Online Writers Conference. This was my second year, and because last year I felt I should have taken more workshops, this year I took 34 of them, plus 3 live chats. I missed 2 of the chats because of the kids--my youngest fractured her arm falling backwards out of a swing. But such is the life of a working mom. You make plans and sometimes they change quickly. The whole week was a blur of writing exercises, discussions on different aspects of the craft of writing, volunteering at church, and trying to find time to make real food for the family to eat so that I didn't feel guilty over my excessive amount of computer time.

I won't bore you with the details of all the great stuff I learned, but I am more committed than ever to my writing career. I've been making some changes in my life to carve out a bit more writing time. While I enjoy interviewing authors and writing book reviews, I will scale back a bit on this next year so that I can concentrate on my two works in progress and the edits to the manuscript I finished last August with my sister. My articles for Writer2Writer will continue on a monthly basis, and I aim to find more markets willing to accept my articles.

In the last quarter of this year, I want to put into practice the ideas and work ethics that will carry me into a productive 2008. I know if I keep all the information I learned at the Muse Online Writers Conference close by my side, I will meet my goals.

So, when do you have time to write?

I'm often asked where I find time to write. The answer is simple--I find it whenever and wherever I can.

As a wife and mother of three children--two of them under age six--there is little uninterrupted time in the day to concentrate on my writing. But, if you want something badly enough you "make" the time.

How do you do that?

First, I had to sit down and assess exactly where all my time goes. Every day I wash, dry, and fold two loads of laundry; I get three people breakfast and lunch; I cook supper every night so that the entire family can spend time together; I make my husband's lunch for work each night; I read to the girls at night, we say prayers together, and I sing to them until they fall asleep.

Those are all things that must be done in order to keep the house running smoothly. Gee, looking at that list it seems like I should have plenty of time to write.

But...

The house still needs to be cleaned every once in a while; I spend one night a week at church to help prepare for Vacation Bible School; I teach the children in our AWANA Club at church; I am a member of a town committee and sit on the church council; I like to stay in touch with family and friends either by email or at parties; and there are the two forums which I administrate. Plus every once in a while I would like a few minutes of "me" time.

And let's not forget the unexpected: illnesses, accidents, and errands that steal precious moments away from what I should be doing.

When I sat down and seriously considered everything I had to and wanted to do with my time, I knew I would need to cut some things out if I was ever going to have a writing career.

The first thing that went was uncessary emails. I have no willpower. If someone sends me a joke or a Power Point presentation, I am going to read it. So, I emailed everyone asking them to hold off on sending them my way.

Then I canceled my membership to several Yahoo Groups. Once again--no willpower. And finally, I made a concious decision to limit all my online time so that I would have more time to write.

I also use every spare moment to do something writing related. I read trade magazines while waiting for doctor appointments. I read or write while my husband drives us to church on Sunday mornings. And, I carry around a small notebook in my purse to jot down ideas or words for a story I'm working on as they come to me.

But the thing that most of my friends get a big chuckle out of is when I tell them I read and write while soaking in the tub.

If you want to be able to balance your family life and your writing career, figure out where all your time goes; decide what must be done and what can be cut; and use every free moment you have to make your dreams come true!

When real life gets in the way of your writing

My New Year's Resolution was to do my best to get my book published (or at least under contract) in 2007. As a result, I put together monthly writing goals, which I break down into weekly goals for the current month.

Last week went well. I completed edits to The Sisterhood and scheduled a meeting with the co-author for two Sundays from now. I finished the revisions to an article I am going to submit to Writer2Writer for review and planned on beginning more research for A Shepherd's Journey.

But on Saturday real life began to unravel in annoying kinds of ways--like it sometimes does--and five days into this week the only thing I've accomplished is catching up on critiques on my writer's forum. No research, no writing, nothing of substance. And why? Because when I get so frustrated I want to scream, my muse goes running for the hills. I have no desire to write--not even this blog entry.

I've heard real writers are disciplined enough to sit their butts in their chairs and write every day, no matter what. That's where I want to be. I don't want real life to get in the way of me reaching my goals and finding my dream.

I refuse to give in to these feelings of frustration and anxiety as real life throws me for a loop. So I sat my butt down in my chair today and forced myself to write this entry in the hopes it will be the start of something new. I can learn to write every day, no matter what else is going on in my life. And I am going to prove it...even if it's just to me.

A Difference of Opinion

Even though my blog is titled "The Life of a Wife, Mother, and Aspiring Author" I haven't spent much time talking about my home life. I think most people would find it pretty darn boring, but I'm struggling with something I can imagine most mothers face at some point in their lives so I figured I would toss it out for you to dissect.

I've been a stay-at-home mom for almost three years now. It had always been my dream to be at home with my kids and I've been one of the lucky few who is able to do so. But somewhere I feel I still need to carve out a life for myself, separate from motherhood. Creating the time to do that, is always the problem.

There have been two different schools of thought thrown at me and I would love to hear anyone's opinion on the matter. The first is that it is important for a mother to make time for herself; to get involved with something that she does just for her. My doctor has stressed it's importance and so have members of my family. On the opposite side are those who believe my children should be my entire life and that I should wait until they are both in school before becoming involved in anything else.

It hadn't been too much of an issue until I launched my writing career. Often times when the in-laws come over in the afternoons I escape to my laptop - which is in the same room as the children usually are in - and try to check and respond to emails so that I can spend the time after the girls go to bed writing. Afternoons also seem to be happy hour around here most of the time and it is believed that my use of the computer is the problem. Heck it could be true, but to be honest after hours of breaking up silly little fights over the older child taking the younger one's toys or some other such nonsense, I plain old need a break.

So herein lies my dilemma. I could put my writing career on hold and hire a housekeeper to take care of our home so that I can spend every waking moment with the children, or I can continue to try and squeeze in my writing time and other miscellaneous stuff in between refereeing preschool battles. Both have their advantages, but I can't seem to see one as being better than the other. Maybe you can shed some light on it for me.