Friday, March 03, 2006

My turn to rant

I usually don't rant publicly like this, but I'm in desperate need of release right now, so here it goes. I've been plugging away at trying to get published for over a year now, and all I seem to get is rejections. I have a novel that I'm collaborating on which I am determined to have completed by July 1 - the first draft anyway. I want to be able to submit it to agents after that. But as days turn into months, I find myself wondering if I'll ever sell anything and if this dream of mine will stay just that - an unattainable dream.

My friends who have seen my work have said it's great, and others who are published believe I can get something to sell, but it isn't working. I wish I had more time to dedicate to getting queries out the door. I guess if I was working on one now instead of typing this entry, I would probably have more time.

But being a published writer is only part of me. I'm a very social person and being out of the workforce has been very difficult on me. I miss the water cooler discussions, meetings, and chances to speak to people over the age of 4 on a regular basis. That's why I've joined some forums, because without them I think I would go crazy.

I need some time to myself, outside of the house - maybe a few hours a month where I can just do whatever I want. This past week I got a massage and I am going for another one this coming Thursday. The hubby is having a hissy over the $45 sessions, but they are really the only chance I get to go out and not have to worry about anything.

I've gotten to the point where I really don't enjoy being at home, something I thought would never happen. I love my family, but I am struggling to find time for myself to just be me. I wish I had the ability to take off for a weekend to the shore - just my laptop and me. Stay up as late as I want, sleep as late as I want, walk the beach, and type something creative. But alas, that is just a dream too because my family needs me here to do all those domestic things that moms do, and the little ones would have a hard time going to sleep without me to tuck them in.

Ok, I think I'm done. I think the pity party is over...at least for now.

Cheryl

3 Comments:

Anonymous Shannon/Tripp said...

Wow, I know this was ranted awhile ago but I wanted to say "good for you" for pursueing your love to write. I have always wanted to write myself. I have thousands of stories that float in my head but can never get them out. My best things I have done are short snippets that end rather quickly.

Anyway, just wanted to say I enjoy your LHOTP fiction and would love to know if you got anything published. *happy*

4:52 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Thanks for the encouragement Shannon. Since I posted this rant, I've made a few changes in my life. I've dropped a few nonessential commitments, made a point of going to bed early at least once a week, and have agreed to the do massage therapy once a month.

I do have to find more time for my writing. I think in September things will open up because the older of my two girls will be in school full-time. While I'll miss her, it will be good for me to be able to spend some time alone with the youngest one and also make some time for my writing.

But before that, I hope to have the novel finished and be sending it out. Please keep your fingers crossed and say a little prayer.

Thanks again.

Cheryl

5:35 PM  
Blogger Lorrie said...

Hey Diva...we are here for you.

Try to enjoy what ever free time you have. Kids grow up fast, so don't hurry the process...

Lorrie

11:33 PM  

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