I usually don't rant publicly like this, but I'm in desperate need of release right now, so here it goes. I've been plugging away at trying to get published for over a year now, and all I seem to get is rejections. I have a novel that I'm collaborating on which I am determined to have completed by July 1 - the first draft anyway. I want to be able to submit it to agents after that. But as days turn into months, I find myself wondering if I'll ever sell anything and if this dream of mine will stay just that - an unattainable dream.
My friends who have seen my work have said it's great, and others who are published believe I can get something to sell, but it isn't working. I wish I had more time to dedicate to getting queries out the door. I guess if I was working on one now instead of typing this entry, I would probably have more time.
But being a published writer is only part of me. I'm a very social person and being out of the workforce has been very difficult on me. I miss the water cooler discussions, meetings, and chances to speak to people over the age of 4 on a regular basis. That's why I've joined some forums, because without them I think I would go crazy.
I need some time to myself, outside of the house - maybe a few hours a month where I can just do whatever I want. This past week I got a massage and I am going for another one this coming Thursday. The hubby is having a hissy over the $45 sessions, but they are really the only chance I get to go out and not have to worry about anything.
I've gotten to the point where I really don't enjoy being at home, something I thought would never happen. I love my family, but I am struggling to find time for myself to just be me. I wish I had the ability to take off for a weekend to the shore - just my laptop and me. Stay up as late as I want, sleep as late as I want, walk the beach, and type something creative. But alas, that is just a dream too because my family needs me here to do all those domestic things that moms do, and the little ones would have a hard time going to sleep without me to tuck them in.
Ok, I think I'm done. I think the pity party is over...at least for now.
Cheryl